Top 10 Reasons Why Witches Don't Worship Satan
By: Unknown Author (if you are the author or know who the author is, please send us an email and let us know. Thank you!)
10. Scorch marks on the furniture whenever Satan manifests.
9. Not even Lysol can mask the smell of brimstone.
8. Hard to keep the flaming goat skulls lit.
7. Decreased availability of blonde virgins.
6. Blood stains from the sacrifices are *impossible* to get out of the carpet.
5. Wailing of the damned souls in Hell keeps the neighbors awake.
4. The cats keep attacking Satan's tail, which annoys him.
3. Repeated stooping motions for administering the "Kiss of Shame" difficult on the coven members with bad backs.
2. Demons smell even worse than brimstone.
And the number one reason....
1. It's impossible to worship something that doesn't exist!